In the past 6 months, we have gotten about 20 to 30 emails from young people as well as parents reporting that shoplifting is a major concern.  Here are some thoughts from my research as well as our teen trendsetter network.

Ideas on Shoplifting:

1) Shoplifting Is Old
Shoplifting has always been a problem among young people.  I think that perhaps we are now seeing more of a problem, but parents and adults who think that this has not been an issue for every generation are mistaken.  Shoplifting is an old problem; it is just dressed a little differently…

2) What is Shoplifted is Different…
I asked my teen trendsetter group about this trend. They said that what is mainly different about shoplifting today is that what’s stolen is no longer just gum and snacks.  Today, it is iTunes gift cards and Red Bull.

Top 5 Things Teens Shoplift:
iTunes Cards
Red Bull
Snacks
Candy
Magazines

3) Alcohol and Cigarettes
These did not make the top 5, but were towards the top.  Many teens, when asked, do not consider stealing alcohol shoplifting.  In fact, one of my teen advisors says, “Stealing alcohol is like a rite of passage.  You do it to grow up.  Plus, we practically deserve to get alcohol for free because we CAN’T buy it.  I would buy it if they would let me.  I steal it because they will not let me buy it.”

(More…)

• 	Posted by: Vanessa Van Petten | 0 Comment(s)
  	Share this : del.icio.us |  Digg |  Facebook  |  Newsvine

Michael Hausauer, a psychotherapist in Oakland, Calif., said teenagers had a “terrific interest in knowing what’s going on in the lives of their peers, coupled with a terrific anxiety about being out of the loop.” For that reason, he said, the rapid rise in texting has potential for great benefit and great harm.

Here’s the article from the New York Times.

• 	Posted by: Joe Keenan | 1 Comment(s)
  	Share this : del.icio.us |  Digg |  Facebook  |  Newsvine

Sexting, the act of sending suggestive electronic text and/or picture messages, is something parents must be aware of – and talk to their kids about.   If your child has a cell phone and is 10 or above, you need to have this conversation with them.  Check out the facts below — and the related links – for facts and tips on talking:

How many young adults are sending or posting nude or semi-nude images of themselves?
33% of young adults overall
36% of young adult women
31% of young adult men

How many teens say they have sent/posted nude or semi-nude pictures or video of themselves?
20% of teens overall
22% of teen girls
18% of teen boys
11% of young teen girls (ages 13-16)

Sexually suggestive messages (text, email, IM) are even more prevalent than sexually suggestive images. How many teens are sending or posting sexually suggestive messages?
(More…)

• 	Posted by: Vanessa Van Petten | 0 Comment(s)
  	Share this : del.icio.us |  Digg |  Facebook  |  Newsvine

I hope Decoder readers will enjoy this article which playfully shows how the internet generation has turned online for every need.  Do you recognize this phenomenon in yourself or your teenager?

Are websites the new “it” teen best friend?  I talk to hundreds of teens everyday and I started to notice a disturbing trend:  teens talk about their favorite websites like they talk about their best friends — or instead of their best friends.

I have written about how the digital age has changed the friendonomics for young people.  I worry that Cotton Candy friends will permeate the space until teens will either be so lonely that they will reach into real life again, or they will just turn elsewhere (like to websites.) As friendships become all about twittering what I ate for breakfast and who poked who on Facebook, where is the genuine personal connection?  I think websites might be the best young people can get.

1. “She is always there.”
Websites, like a good best friend, are always up, running and, well, loyal.

2. “I think about what he is doing when I am not with him.”
I hear teens often comment about what is going up on YouTube, or that they might be missing something on ESPN.  They are more interested in this sometimes than their own friends.

3. “I want to be with her every chance I get.”
Teens check their favorite websites every chance they get — at school, on phones, in the middle of the night when parents are sleeping…”

4. “Spending time with her is so comforting.”
I think the familiarity of a website can be very comforting to upset, emotional, hormonal or over- excited teens, just like a best friend.

5. “We are so compatible.”
Web 2.0 is all about users being able to modify, change and adapt their content to whatever they want.  On Ning, Twitter and MySpace teen users can change wallpaper, the color of their buttons and much more…very much like a bedroom or a best friend with similar tastes and interests.

6. “When the he is down, I feel lost and depressed.”
Do not be around a teenager when their favorite website is down or going through maintenance. It used to be that when a best friend was away on family vacation, it was the worse feeling in the world.   I hear teens talk about maintenance on YouTube like someone they love has just gone into a coma.

7. “I like helping her with her problems.”
This generation also loves participating in marketing campaigns, submitting their own idea, videos and comments to blogs and companies just like friends helping each other with problems.

8. “We have grown up together.”
I sort of feel like I have grown up with Facebook.  My college was one of the first 20 schools admitted into Facebook when it was just for college students.  I have watched it change, grow, adapt and I feel like I have also done these things.  As with a childhood best friend, I think many teens feel this way about the websites they have been visiting all their lives.  They become very attached.

This was a rather sad article for me to write.  Partially, because I think I fit into some of these examples.  I have written poetry about my blog like it is my baby and for the Internet like it is my husband.  It is a constant battle for me to leave my favorite websites for a few days and develop real relationships…scary that real life friendships can be so much work. 

Who is your teen’s e-BFF?

• 	Posted by: Vanessa Van Petten | 1 Comment(s)
  	Share this : del.icio.us |  Digg |  Facebook  |  Newsvine

I was absolutely floored last week when my son mentioned he’d given out his cell phone number on the internet. We’d recently had the conversation about the dangers lurking on the web when I presented a program on internet safety to our middle school — so my brain couldn’t wrap itself around the fact that he blatantly went against the number one rule in our house for using the internet: NO PERSONAL INFORMATION is to be given out for ANY reason!

I was furious. I raised my voice in a manner reserved for serious offenses and felt panic well up inside my body.  What would have possessed him to be so careless?  What part of “grooming” (a term we’d discussed) did he not understand? (Grooming is when a predator will pretend to be whatever sex or age he needs to be in order to lure a child into trusting him so the child will reveal personal information.)  I took a deep breath and sat my son down for a long talk about how serious this situation could be.

This time, I was very specific about what can happen when personal information is revealed to someone he doesn’t know.  He was in a popular game room for younger children and told me he knew this person was a girl his age from England.  I asked him, “How do you know she is from England?”

“She told me she is.  She gave me her phone number too.”

“You didn’t call or text her, did you?”

(More…)

• 	Posted by: Tara Paterson | 3 Comment(s)
  	Share this : del.icio.us |  Digg |  Facebook  |  Newsvine

Earlier this week, the Partnership released a survey with MetLife Foundation showing that one in four teens would prefer to talk to their parents about drugs and alcohol by using email or their cell phones. Meantime, only three percent of parents want to discuss these subjects by cell or email. I don’t blame them — this is an important issue, and if we’re having anything other than in-person discussions about it, we miss out on that gratifying flicker of recognition that crosses our teens’ faces (after they cross their arms and roll their eyes) that lets us know they hear us, that we’ve made contact.

Nonetheless, the study makes an important point — our teens are part of “Generation Text,” and if we don’t get on board with these up-to-the-minute forms of keeping in touch, we may miss out on everyday opportunities to connect with our kids. While nothing takes the place of a face-to-face update — even if it’s for two minutes as your kid scarfs down an Eggo and runs to school. If you’ve had a tough time talking about drugs and alcohol, sending a text or an email may help break the ice and open the door for a future chat. And if your teen feels more comfortable emailing you about what goes on at school parties or what his friends are up to, be grateful he’s confiding in you, and keep up your end of the email exchange until he’s ready to talk.

Do you email or text with your kids? Do you find it’s helped to break the ice on tough subjects?

• 	Posted by: Joe Keenan | 4 Comment(s)
  	Share this : del.icio.us |  Digg |  Facebook  |  Newsvine

I’ve noticed a bit of a trend over the past several months.  In talking with parents, and especially folks in the news media who are parents, they seem to be more and more attuned to issues like online predators and sexual content on the web that place their kids at risk.  They also see all the spam their own in-boxes hawking prescription drugs online.  They know talking with their kids about all this is important.

When I raise the issue of also guarding against their kids being exposed to online drug content, pro-drug use websites and literally instructive “how to” videos on binge drinking and drug use that popping up across the net, there is a level of disbelief that’s remarkable.  Sex they know. Bad guys they get.  Yet the idea that there are people out there promoting drug abuse to their kids, showing them how in exacting detail, celebrating being wrecked, just seems a degree too far out.   “That CAN’T be possible!”  “That CAN’T be legal?”  “WHO would be that stupid?” Sorry…

Nielsen Online recently did a study that looked at video streams viewed online by a sample of 13 to 18 year olds across the country.  In June 2008 alone, nearly one million teens viewed online videos promoting alcohol and drug use.  The folks at the Center for Substance Abuse Research at the University of Maryland sum up the data this way, “Of the 1.2 million substance-related videos viewed by teens, 39% portrayed explicit use of alcohol or other drugs and/or intoxication. In addition, the majority (85%) of these videos had comments posted that promoted substance use. The survey also found that more than one-third (35%) of viewers of all substance-related videos were younger than 16, and females were more likely than males to watch these videos (57% vs. 43%).”

So, as a parent or caring adult, what do we do?  We have to realize that for all of the greatness and richness brought to our lives via the web, there is also the potential for harm.  Practical tips include:  1) Be clear and consistent with your kids about what online content is out of bounds.  2) Be familiar with the digital devices and web tools your kids use.  3) Keep computers in common areas of your home — family room or other central location — and limit the time your kids spend online.  4) Visit your teen’s personal blog, web site, favorite social networking sites or other postings.  5) Pay attention to the history, cookies and other tracking on your computer.

These are by no means all of the potential courses a parent can take, but the essential fact is that your child can be and is exposed to an extraordinary volume of pro-drinking, pro-drugging content on the web.  Monitoring your child plays a key role.  We need to both know and accept this is happening right now. With that knowledge we can each begin to take our own steps to safeguard our children.

What are your tips for protecting kids from dangerous online content?

• 	Posted by: Steve Pasierb | 3 Comment(s)
  	Share this : del.icio.us |  Digg |  Facebook  |  Newsvine

I’ve seen many at-risk teenagers over the years and have been struck by their complaints about boredom.  Take Mike, a 15-year-old ninth grader who hated being alone.  He’d surf the web, listen to his iPod, play video games, text his friends, and frantically search for “something to do.”  In fact, he would go to great lengths to avoid facing the void within him.  There are many Mikes out there—restless and discontented teens in search of a way to numb their discomfort and connect with others.  But all too often they go about it in the wrong way—they take shortcuts.  Getting high or drunk is one.  Another is meeting strangers online or going to “seedy” places to hang out.  And even their constant need to IM, and spend time in My Space, underscores their never ending search.  Until they find comfort within themselves and learn to be self-sufficient, they’ll continue floating from one negative distraction to the next. 

Perhaps this inability to tolerate downtime is an unwelcome outcome of the electronic age which gave birth to a high stimulation generation.  Today’s youth expect to be entertained.  And there’s plenty out there to keep them busy.  The problem is that the more they get, the more they want.  Unfortunately, this doesn’t help teens to figure out who they are and what they want from life.  And if we’re not careful, they’ll spend more time avoiding these tasks than rising to the challenge.  Anyone who has talked to kids who have to “chill” all the time, knows what I’m referring to.  Color it avoidance—of the pressure to succeed, of their feelings of self-doubt, or of the demand for conformity to a social standard they can’t meet.  

Often, boredom is only the tip of the iceberg and loneliness lurks below.  Parents take note.  Self-direction relieves the pressure to go along with the crowd and cast judgment to the wind.  Don’t take it upon yourself to entertain your kids when they “have nothing to do”.  If you do their work, they’ll become dependent on you, and only shift that dependence to their peers as they get older.  

Instead, teach them satisfying ways to occupy themselves when they’re alone.  And if your son or daughter is a prisoner of cyberspace, it’s probably time to take action.  Rather than restrict them from the few things they enjoy, why not tell them that you expect them to engage in constructive activities for at least several hours a day prior to computer use or hanging out with like minded friends.  They can choose the activities from a menu which you come up with jointly.  They’ll probably balk at this, but stick to your guns.  There are plenty of options out there which can fuel interests and combat boredom.  Think school clubs, volunteer work, developing a talent, organized sports, getting a part-time job, or pursuing a hobby.  Good things happen when young people find their passions. 

Sally, a 17-year-old I worked with some years ago, chose to work in retailing after her parents insisted that she do something other than complain how “bored” she was.  I ran into her last year and was pleasantly surprised to learn that she was a manager of a large store.     

• 	Posted by: Guest Blogger: Neil Bernstein | 1 Comment(s)
  	Share this : del.icio.us |  Digg |  Facebook  |  Newsvine

Techno Perfection: n. An individual’s personal desire to look good and be in flattering poses and styles at all times based on the new ability to edit, crop, color and change the way that individual looks online.

What are some aspects of techno perfection?

1) Constant Vanity
Teens and tweens are growing up in a culture where they might be snapped, filmed or captured at any moment.  With the rise of camera phones, built-in camera’s and camera’s that can take video, teens are always on.   Have you noticed your teen constantly looking in the mirror at him or herself.  A certain unknown somebody I know always changes the car mirrors to ‘fix their lipstick, ‘check their hair,’ or ‘just plain gaze at themselves.” Anyone have this with their kids?  Teens are very, very aware of how they look at all times.

2) Editable Beauty
I was asked at one of my client’s birthday parties to take a picture of her and her friends.

“Wait a sec,” one of them chirped, “Laura, switch with me, you have got to get my good side.”

“Don’t worry, we will take a bunch and edit them later,” Laura confidently reassured her.

Huh? Do I even have a good side? Would really think about it if I did? Teens have grown up being able to edit, crop, chop, lighten, darken and take away leg fat in any picture or video with basic computer programs.  This makes them think differently about their image.

3) Fame Happy
You can be famous.  I can be famous.  We can be famous.  Many members of this generation truly believe they are going to be famous and use it as an excuse to not work as hard in school or for future jobs.  The YouTube 15 minutes of fame has grown while the gap between celebrities and real people has shrunk with the rise of reality shows, Funny or Die spoofs and celebrity blogs.  This makes them strive to be perceived as perfect and think about personal branding, like previous generations thought about what color looked best on them.

4) There is Almost Perfection
Surgery is getting better and better.  Photography touch-ups are getting better and better and so is lighting, and other Hollywood tricks.  Celebrities set-up a very high level of techno perfection that most teens think is normal…and therefore also strive to have those ‘toned thighs’, un-messable make-up and perfect hair…all the time.

5) It Feels Close
High Definition make-up is here.  More and more companies are putting out tools and tips that make teens think they NEED to look like the celebrities.  I think it is actually taking teen girls longer and longer to get ready because there are just more things to cover, hide, nip and tuck.
-invisible tape for shirts
-false lashes
-HD make-up
-silicon falsies inserts
-bronzer for your legs
-hair inserts (you can Velcro volumizing fake hair to your hairline).

What to do? TALK TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT THIS.  A lot of them do not even realize it is happening.  Whenever I talk to kids about techno perfection (at first they laugh), but then they usually think of all the ways that this has pervaded their own life.  In my mind, self-awareness is the first step towards becoming more authentic.

• 	Posted by: Vanessa Van Petten | 0 Comment(s)
  	Share this : del.icio.us |  Digg |  Facebook  |  Newsvine