Good Parenting or Helicopter Parenting?
Just read mommy blogger Lisa Belkin’s article in the New York Times Magazine entitled “Let the Kid Be.”
Let the kid be? What does this mean exactly?
Here at the Partnership, we believe in creating and maintaining a strong bond with one’s teen. Parents need to stay involved, keep an ongoing dialogue with their kids, and know their whereabouts, their friends, their school habits and their online activities.
But Belkin brings up some good food for thought – at what point does concerned, involved parenting actually become helicopter parenting (or “I-am-never-going-to-let-my-kid-out-of-my-sight parenting,” as Belkin jokingly calls it)?
Maybe, as this article suggests, just “chilling” is the smartest thing we can do as moms and dads. We’ll be less stressed and fearful of parental failure, our kids will feel less stifled, and we may even save some cash in these tight economic times. But, on the other hand – can you really ever be over-involved as a parent? After all, it’s our job (and our instinct) to help and protect our kids.
What do you think? When does protecting become overprotecting? Where do you draw the line between good parenting and helicopter parenting – or do you not draw a line at all?
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This is just what I needed to read today! After having a heart-to-heart discussion with my just turned thirteen year old daughter about sex last weekend, I was told by another child’s step-mother (who is a close friend of mine) that the childs parents (we’ll call the child, Joanie) were appalled by my discussion. How dare I discuss safe-sex and condoms! I was a bad parent - and of course, as most stories go, it had changed to where I had given my daughter condoms, which of course I did no do. now Joanie isn’t allowed to hang out with my daughter and these parents think not very highly of me. My first reaction was of major anger. How dare you! I KNOW i’m not a fabulous parent - but I’m not that bad…am I? Am i a failure? It IS our jobs to protect our children, (and our instinct) which is why I discussed (and not said, to HAVE SEX) but wanted to PROTECT her from the possibility of STD’s, some of which, like the HPV virus, can cause cervical cancer and pregnancy. I am adopted, and my birth parents were 13 & 14 years old when they concievied me and it certainly was NOT planned. It was their first time and obviously, they were not using protection. I cannot protect my daughter forever and need to be able to trust that the decisions she makes are smart ones and that the lessons her father and I have taught her will be a part of her decision making process. So, as I finish “blogging” (and this is actually the first time EVER I have “blogged” )my claws are retracting and I believe that I am half-way between a “helicopter parent” and a “chill-mom” I don’t have a specific “line” per say. i think a parenting line needs to flex, and bend and not be rigid. God knows teens aren’t!
A teenager needs to practice what his parents teach him. When the teenager does not get that oportunity his parents are overprotecting him.
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This post really helped me out. Thanks.