Medicine, My 3 Year Old and Me
It’s occurred to me lately that my 3-year-old son has developed a somewhat alarmingly unhealthy relationship with cherry-flavored children’s Tylenol. He asks for it when his nose is stuffy or when he has a sore throat. Other times he will claim that more unusual body parts are giving him trouble. His bellybutton say, or occasionally his hair. I’ve always just chalked it up to the fact that he loves the flavor, a sickeningly sweet concoction containing enough sugar and brilliant red dye to send any child into momentary raptures of hyperactive joy.
Lately, however, I’ve become a bit concerned because his preoccupation with treating ailments with medications has begun to expand beyond the aforementioned red goop. If I complain that I have a headache, he’ll immediately ask if I plan to take something for it. When his back was itching the other night, he called out from his bed to ask if I had any medicine that would “scratch it” for him. It’s obvious that he’s already made a strong connection between physical ailments and chemical solutions and what’s even more upsetting to me, is tha this is completely my fault.
I’ve been clean and sober for eight years now but I’m the first to admit that even though I haven’t ingested anything stronger than Benadryl in all that time, I still have the mind of an addict. If something hurts, I take something. I’ve never fooled myself about this and there are times when I pop an Advil, that I am perfectly aware that my reasons for doing it are just as much psychological as they are physical. I never dwelled on it much, however, as I always figured that in terms of important issues to deal with, I had bigger fish to fry. If it makes me feel better to take an antihistamine after a couple sneezes, well it’s certainly the lesser of a bazillion other lurking evils.
Now that I’m pregnant and the only medicine remaining on the shelf is a bottle of Tylenol (which trust me, I have not neglected), this dependence has become even more glaringly obvious to me. Last month I had a nasty cold and spent many a waking hour lamenting the lack of Alka-Seltzer Cold Plus in my life. The crazy thing being, that even as I pined for the fizzy remedy, I admitted to myself that it had never really helped that much to begin with. I just wanted to take something.
It is now clear to me that my son has noticed this and that my attitude toward medicine is making a quick descent down the branches of the family tree. I realized the other day that although I’m always quick to appear with the noxious red syrup and a teaspoon at the first sign of any complaint on his part, I have never really sat down and talked with him about the purposes of medicine, and that while it can be very helpful, it can also be very harmful. I suppose that I always thought he was still too young but now I’m not so sure. I freak out if a man sits down next to us at the bus stop while smoking a cigarette but don’t think twice about running to the medicine cabinet at the first sign of a stuffy nose (and this, despite the fact that I’m well aware that there is not even any real evidence to show that these medicines work in young children). Something’s wrong with this picture.
Despite the fact that there are plenty of guidelines about how to talk to young children about smoking, drinking and illegal drugs, there is very little information out there about how to talk to young children about OTC (over-the-counter) medications. I find this surprising as it seems doubly important to talk to them about the substances that they see and are in some cases, already ingesting on a regular basis.
This is especially crucial in light of the fact that adolescent abuse of both prescription and OTC medications (such as cough syrup) has been on the rise in recent years. What’s more, studies show that although more parents are discussing the risks of alcohol and illegal drugs, for the most part, they are still not talking about the very real dangers of OTC and prescription drug abuse.
My son is only 3 but it is now clear to me that I am setting a dangerous precedent for him and that something needs to change in my whole approach towards medication. Any suggestions are welcome!
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Wow that is definitely a predicament; on the one hand, medicine definitely relieves our ailments and symptoms (there is no way i am not going to take Tylenol for a fever); but on the other hand, I don’t think it’s necessary to take ibuprofen each time I have a headache. I think it’s good that you’re already looking to talk to your kid about the dangers of overusing OTC medicines; even at such a young age, it’s important for children to learn healthy habits and behaviors. Also, kids definitely pick up behaviors and attitudes from parents, so the earlier you show your son that it’s not necessary to rush to take medication for every single ailment, the better. Plus, don’t forget about the placebo effect — just the act of taking a pill (any pill) may lead a person to believe that he/she will become better, and this doesn’t really attest to the efficacy of medicines.
On a random side note, I think the cherry-flavored Tylenol is disgusting! I used to run away from my mom when I was a young child when she wanted me to stop coughing.
Hi Johnanna,
Thanks for a great post! We so agree with you that it is never too early to start talking to your kids about these risks. The Partnership offers age approproiate scripts starting with preschoolers in our Talk Kit available at TimeToTalk.org. We also have additional information on talking to your preschooler in our Parent Tool Kit at drugfree.org. Here’s the link: http://www.drugfree.org/Parent/YourChild/Articles/Preschool.aspx#
Best regard,
Debbie Kellogg from the Partnership for a Drug-Free America
Obviously your three-year-old son is sometimes pretending to be sick when he is not. You wise to pay attention to this as an indicator of a casual attitude about drugs.
Another thing that would help both of you would be to educate yourself about nutrition (including food supplements) and the roles of specific nutrients/supplements in preventing and treating illnesses. There is solid research about zinc boosting immunity, for example. It helps prevent colds and can shorten the duration of a cold.
It IS possible to get too much zinc, however. In fact too much of anything, even distilled water, can be toxic. Furthermore safe dosages are different for children than for adults. Some supplements are virtually tasteless and can be added to food without your son knowing it. You can crush tablets and disolve them in drinks or add them to breakfast cereal. For that matter, you can buy cereals with lots of vitamins and some minerals added.
If you decide to add this approach to your attitude-adjustment plan, be sure you are getting your info from qualified sources. A pediatrician is a good start,and it is extremely important to tell your boy’s doctor about any supplements he takes. The doc is likely to know more about what/how much is dangerous than about what/how much is helpful. Personal guidance from a Ph.D. nutritionist about these matters would be great. Some health insurance plans and HMO’s cover one-on-one consultations with nutritionists.
Bottom line on this one: if you use supplements to prevent and treat real physical ailments, know what you are doing and make sure the supplements don’t look like medications. Also you will need to control accessability, because both supplements and O.T.C.’s that look and taste like food can be dangerous to children, if they eat too much of them.
Just by him some gummy bears and make sure he’s know’s the difference between a gummy bear and children’s tylenol.
Hi Johanna,
I read your blog and can completely relate!
My daughter has her ears pierced and she likes to sniff my fingers when I change her earrings because of the smell of alcohol.
She loves the liquid medicines. And, why wouldn’t she? They taste like bubble gum.
She likes to taste the alcohol I drink and always says it’s yummy and wants to try it again and again.
It can be Sake, wine or beer and she’ll always say that she likes it.
She’s 3!
I’m concerned because I come from parents with alcohol issues.
I was speaking with my step mom and she said that if you give your child a little taste every once in a while of alcohol that’s one thing, but if you keep giving it to them, then they develop a taste for it, and there’s a higher chance for them to become alcoholics.
Since my step mom said this, I won’t give my daughter even a taste of the stuff.
I’ve tried to cut back on my drinking as well.
Thing is, should you drink responsibly in front of kids so they see that it’s not only for partying or abuse? That there’s no harm in a glass a night?
I’m still working on an answer.
Johanna, I think that you are already headed in the right direction. The fact that you are aware of the problem and the impact of your behavior on your child, you can easily remedy this problem. Because our children mimic our behavior good and bad we have an opportunity to correct most bad behavior. Perhaps when you have a headache or ailment instead of reaching for a tylenol or pain reliever perhaps you could take the opportunity to do a few stretching exercises or take a few minutes to meditate or sit and be still for awhile. Certainly this won’t work for everything but it will show your child that there are alternatives for not feeling well and it will help break the cycle of taking medicine. If you should really need to take medicine, perhaps not taking it in front of your child and doing it privately would work. There is also a homeopathic approach as well.
Good Luck, you will figure out what is the best way to correct this problem
I agree wholeheartedly when you say that children mimic our behavior good/bad and I also agree with starting a more holistic way to live. I didmimic my parents behavior when I was growing up and began drinking at 9 years old, of course I didn’t think there was anything wrong with that..my parents were doing it and they were having fun. I also realize that I brought my own children up watching me “take stuff” (medications) wheather precscription or non for headaches or other bodily ailments. I have two grown children who thankfully have followed my sober example and decided to keep away from the alcohol/drugs but, I also have a school age child at home, she is 12 but also has to take certain prescription meds every day for a health issue so, it’s been hard to show her the grey areas with medications but I have thought of some creative ways to help her learn. how to distinguish her feelings vs her body. I use alot of yoga and breathing techniques and allow her to let me know how she feels when she is done, I keep a close watch on how she is feeling emotionally because I know there is a great big connection with how we feel and how we want to feel better…faster. I ask her to sit down and let’s have a cup of herbal tea and talk, when she questioned me about the “herbal” tea, I let her know that herbs are something that we grow and growing things is a healthy way to live. In a nutshell, I began using a more holistic approach in my home and making her aware of it, such as, well, we can grow these healthy foods and they will keep our bodies feeling good, we can do yoga and we can jog and that is a way to help our bodies feel very good. I work on keeping the focus off medications of all types but I do make clear to her that there are people who have different things that their bodies do that need medicine from a doctor and she is one of those people and it is so that she can stay healthy. It hasn’t been easy but I think we are doing well.
I guess my point is the journey from the learned behavior “let’s take something when we don’t feel well” to ” I feel great, happy and I am learning ways to cope with life on life’s terms holistically.”…meaning, taking our minds, bodies and emotions into consideration before using anything chemical..:)
Wow!!! I don’t know what to say, I was researching info for school and came across your article. It was a big eye opener for me. My 4 year old loves taking tylenol and vitamins and will even fake a headache to get tylenol, so I have to careful about when I do give it to her. I just never put two and two together. Thank you for your article, I loved it and posted it to my facebook page for other parents to read.
Wow, no 3 yr old will know what addiction is, I’m not telling you how to be a parent, but I doubt childrens cough medacine has addicting ingredients in it, now maybe when he hits 16 or 17 and you find empty bottles of nyquil or robotussin you should worry, but for now relax and use cough drops
Hi Nola,
The point of the piece was not to say that I am worried my son will become addicted to children’s cough medicine. Rather, I worry that I might be teaching him destructive behavioral patterns- namely, immediately treating any sort of discomfort with medication without questioning if the medicine is really needed, or explaining the nature of medicine (why we take it, why it is important to not take too much, etc.) Given the fact that so many teens are abusing both prescription and over-the-counter drugs, I think these are important factors to keep in mind even when your child is still young.