TTYL: How Generation Text Prefers to Talk
Earlier this week, the Partnership released a survey with MetLife Foundation showing that one in four teens would prefer to talk to their parents about drugs and alcohol by using email or their cell phones. Meantime, only three percent of parents want to discuss these subjects by cell or email. I don’t blame them — this is an important issue, and if we’re having anything other than in-person discussions about it, we miss out on that gratifying flicker of recognition that crosses our teens’ faces (after they cross their arms and roll their eyes) that lets us know they hear us, that we’ve made contact.
Nonetheless, the study makes an important point — our teens are part of “Generation Text,” and if we don’t get on board with these up-to-the-minute forms of keeping in touch, we may miss out on everyday opportunities to connect with our kids. While nothing takes the place of a face-to-face update — even if it’s for two minutes as your kid scarfs down an Eggo and runs to school. If you’ve had a tough time talking about drugs and alcohol, sending a text or an email may help break the ice and open the door for a future chat. And if your teen feels more comfortable emailing you about what goes on at school parties or what his friends are up to, be grateful he’s confiding in you, and keep up your end of the email exchange until he’s ready to talk.
Do you email or text with your kids? Do you find it’s helped to break the ice on tough subjects?
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Now, I do realize how tough it is in dealing with teenage crisis. Luckily, this time I got experience handling my brother. It’s been the greatest gift to train myself to be prepared for my kids time. For me, the key is effective communication. Thank for such wonderful information.
I think texting is a fast and easy way to find out what your kid is up to at the moment; for the most part, everyone texts back instantaneously because everyone is glued to their sidekick or whatever. It’s an easy way to check in - “oh what time do you think you’ll be home for dinner?” or “what’s going on?” but in my opinion, talking about drugs and alcohol requires more time and more attention and should be discussed face-to-face. For purposes of checking in and reminders of getting home safely “don’t get in the car with someone who’s been drinking” or whatever, a quick call is helpful in keeping in touch with your kid.
this whole “generation text” thing does not only concern teenagers nowadays. It crosses all ages. Technology does spell a big difference this time. I remember my teenage years confessing personally to my dad about my drug problems. It was a hard thing but I was glad I did it the way it was supposed to, Although webmail and short messaging system are available that time, I did not intend to disclose anything through the net. I took the courage to make it personal so he would understand me better and that i could possibly draw reinforcement or fallback from him. It was the best conversation I had with my dad, not only that my act did not defeat my purpose.
Here’s another situation, which my involvement is in another capacity:
Two years ago, when my Aunt passed away leaving her three lovely kids (who up to now are grade schoolers), our family, being the “more financially well-off” did the cudgels of providing the needs of the orphans. Being 500 or more miles from them, I admit that I did it dull out. I personally provided their wants (more than their needs, i guess) from laptops to cellular phones to PSPs. I did not anticipate that sooner or later, I am compromising a big part of their growth - that is to be spending more time outdoors meeting the other kids in town and making friends.
Can you just imagine how pissed I am every time I go home to visit them only to find out that they would rather stay in their rooms glued with their gadgets rather than spending quality time with me? They’re missing the perks of childhood that the outside world gives, and I know, I am an accomplice.
my 13 yo daughter really talks so openly and comfortably with me in instant messaging. she’ll open up subjects that she might hesitate to open dialogue about face to face. once she’s gotten it out then she’ll continue to talk about it face to face but it seems to really help her take that leap comfortably. i’ve always been very open and honest with her about everything and she’s quite comfortable talking but this just takes it to another level.