Warning Signs Your Teen is Smoking Pot
-If they come home smelling like: pot (obviously), cloves (clove cigarettes are often used to cover up the smell of pot), hookah tobacco (also used to cover up the smell of pot), lots of mint (many of my teen friends will literally shower in Listerine and gum before they get home), loads of perfume or cologne.
-If you find rolling papers, lighters, pot (obviously), little baggies, any type of hand-blown pipe/bubbler/contraption, lots of eye drops (my pot-smoking friends always carry Ice Breakers and Clear Eyes to hide the bloodshot eyes) clove cigarettes, loose tobacco peelings, you might want to have a talk with them.
(The following warning signs have lots of other explanations – including normal teen behavior — but I feel I should mention them especially if they are paired with any of the signs above:)
-Blood shot eyes
-Odd behavior after being with friends like extended giggling, lack of eye contact, running upstairs ‘to bed,’ consuming large quantities of food.
-Extreme ups and downs: Some of the pot smokers I know smoke so often, that when they are not high their personalities are extremely different than when they do smoke. Of course, mood swings are a typical part of teen life, but if you notice shortened attention span and extreme changes in energy level or personality, this could be something to look into, whether it is pot or not.
-Unexplained loss of money, unexplained gain of money. Did you just give your kid his Christmas money and now it is all gone and there is nothing to show for it and no clear explanation? How about if they have lots of spending money — too much spending money? There are many teens who will deal pot to their friends to make extra money on the side. (Interesting sidenote: One of my friends in high school used to sell his little brother’s urine to athletes to pass drug tests — he did very well for himself.)
Please, please, please do not freak out if you find eye drops in your kids purse or pockets, there are many reasons why your teen might have some of the signs above, but I think it is important for parents to be aware. To be honest, whether it is marijuana or not, many of these signs also might signify that someone needs help (mood swings, cigarettes, odd behavior, lack of attention). These behaviors and signs — drug related or not — should also be discussed with your teen.
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If you do think your kid is smoking pot, however, don’t freak out on him. I don’t condone kids smoking pot at all, because they are too young to know how to control their behaviour. Marijuana, like just about everything else, isn’t dangerous IN MODERATION!! It’s not exactly good for the body, but it’s never been proven to cause the harm that the DEA wants us to believe that it causes. The only reason to stage an intervention is if:
A) Grades are slipping
B) Smoking pot ALL the time
C) Changes in behaviour. Though this would be a surprise.
If a kid is smoking a couple of times a month, which is what most kids do, then there isn’t really a problem. If you never thought your kid was smoking, then you found a pipe, you may or may not have a problem. You may or may not want to talk to the kid.
KIDS ARE GOING TO GET HIGH ON SOMETHING!! Just make sure they know when it’s appropriate (like Friday night), to do it somewhere safe (Like relaxing at someone’s house), and to do it with people they trust if case something goes wrong. However, marijuana is pretty safe. No one has EVER died due to marijuana. But, a young driver probably shouldn’t smoke and drive.
I am very concerned about the possibility that my kids are smoking pot. I have had conversations with them and it comes across loud and clear that they think it’s “no big deal.” Well, it’s a big deal to me! For one thing, how do I know for sure that it won’t be marijuana this weekend and then cocaine, ecstasy or some other drug next weekend? For another, even if they never move onto another drug, I certainly wouldn’t want them smoking marijuana for the rest of their lives! I know several people in their 40’s that have smoked since they were teens and they all have that “burnout” personality — not how I want to picture my kids in 25-30 years!
Thank you for this reminder.
One of the best pieces of advice I have heard is to make sure a parent is awake when their teen comes home to smell their breath, check for blood shot eyes and look for giggling and eating large quantities of food.
I became concerned the other night when our 15-year-old came home and ate two chocolate brownies and laughed at one of my jokes (which rarely happens!). After careful observation, I determined he was just hungry and my comment was just too funny not to laugh at (which rarely happens!).
I am still going to stay up and check each time though…
Hi Michele
Yes, I absolutely know what you mean about that burnout personality! I see that happening to some of my stoner friends, not all, but some.
I have had many discussions about pot being a gateway drug to other more hardcore drugs and it seems that this really depends on where you live, the friends they are hanging out with and the kid. I find that many of the kids who smoke at parties to ‘have fun’ usually do not move on to harder drugs. Yet the kids who are doing it more as an escape, when they are alone or during the day will often look for harder drugs when pot does not do it for them anymore.
Vanessa
For a list of additional warning signs, check out this article Signs of Abuse Related to Particular Substances: http://www.drugfree.org/Intervention/Articles/Signs_of_abuse
I agree with guy. I let my son smoke pot. He is 17 and responsible enough to handle a weak and harmless drug. Cigarettes are undeniably far worse. Despite all the forgettable and unconvincing advertisements teens laugh at on TV, Majijuana is really quite harmless. It only lasts a bit and it just gives your kid a momentary feeling. Not that big of a deal. Getting rid of it is impossible, and we can all agree on that.
yeah i think alcohol and tobacco are 100 times worse than pot, i say as long as they (my kids 16 y\o and 19 y\o) don’t become losers and stay productive with jobs and such than i don’t see anything wrong with smoking pot. i’d rather see them stoned than drunk or on any other drug.
I agree with all above who say that marijuana is safe as long as it is used in MODERATION, like all things.
I’m not a parent, but a 19 son of two parents who are conflicted between their natural tendency to let their responsible children continue to use marijuana responsibly, and the law, which my mother is hyper-conscious about because she’s an Appeals lawyer working for the Brooklyn DA’s office.
What they did teach me with alcohol I have wisely applied to marijuana: 2 or 3 glasses of wine, or beer, is fine at most occasions. But I wouldn’t drink before a test, or before going to class, or before doing my homework. I wouldn’t trust myself to be able to do that.
Marijuana is a little bit tougher to judge in quantity, because there isn’t a 1 joint - 1 drink ratio, at least not really. A SMALL joint, I can safely say, is about equal to 1 glass of wine. Again, “small” is relative.
What is important is to be always aware of three things:
1. Know your body: people react differently because their bodies process drugs at different rates depending on frequency of use, age, body weight, and gender. Always be conscious of how you (and your kids!) react to substances in general.
2. Know your substance: Marijuana lasts 4 hours in total, with a coming-up time of 5-15 minutes, a plateau of 2 hours, and a come-down of about 2 hours. Again, different people react differently. Research its effects! A good site is Erowid.org. If you would like the marijuana vault, it’s url is: http://www.erowid.org/plants/cannabis/cannabis.shtml
3. Know your source. Where are your kids getting it from? It is much better for them to get it from a trusted friend, who knows his/her source well, than to get it on the street from a random stranger. Street marijuana is often poor quality and sometimes is “laced” with other drugs, such as cocaine or PCP (but not always).
Don’t beat your kids over the head if you find out they’re smoking dope. But do try and influence their smoking habits, in a loving and nurturing manner. They’ll thank you for it! I, for one, am currently enrolled in my Sophomore year of college at Boston University, and am hard at work on a French minor and Biological Anthropology major. I smoke pot almost every day. Granted, most kids don’t smoke as much as I do, and I know many kids who smoke WAY more than I do, so much so it’s absurd. But smoking pot itself isn’t bad, much less evil. I’m still getting a B+ average, and I’m working hard to make that an A- average!
My 14 year old son admitted to smoking pot at a rock concert.
When told that he would be taking a drug test after attending this concert (or any party-type, day or night long activity) he agreed. He knew I intended to test him. When I told him that today was the day, he said no way. I said way. “Sam instead of refusing the test, maybe there is something you should think about getting straight up with mom and dad here”. “I smoked pot at the Bake Sale”. I’m still gonna test him. I don’t know about my next step. His father and I are both recovering from drugs and alcohol. No way I want my kids to waste any years.
my son of 13 ad friends are being cornered be a few cowards in our
neighborhood.
I had 2 parents at my door letting me know their sons were texting each other to find pot.
M son only received one text from the one 13 yr old. I told my son,
erase it and do not have any relations w/those 2 boys.
What struck me as odd is the same child came to my home unannouced looking for my son @ least 4-5 x’s. Each time I blew the child off & said he was over at a friends house or out w/dad - any excuse to keep him away.
Infortunately we live in a townhome community with 3 ather compex’s
and there has been a lot more going on than meets the eye.
My husband says I am over protective but that is just the way things are going to be for now.
I’ve found pot in my son’s room on 5 separate occasions in the past. Most recently this past weekend. There was also the usual paraphernalia of papers, pipes, etc. I got it all out and set it on the kitchen table and confronted him when he got home from work that night. I told him he couldn’t live in the house with me and his 12 year old sister if he was going to do any type of drugs. He said that he would not do any drugs but that he didn’t see anything wrong with smoking pot and that when he got his own place he would continue to smoke it. This disturbs me and I tried to explain to him that it was affecting his grades, his personality and his drive to succeed or lack thereof I should say.
I have no idea what to do at this point.
Tina
If you think his grades are slipping or he is getting into trouble or having behavioral issues, you should probably bring in outside help. Also I find that sometimes just getting them out of their environment for a while or on some weekends can help them break bad habits or cycles. I would consider going away with him on some three day weekends and possibly sending him on some trips (like camps or adventure trips) over breaks. Still, you might want to get him to see a therapist or do rehab if you think it is serious.
Vanessa
I vehemently oppose the use of mind altering substances by children and would like to state that before making any other comments. The fragile, developing mind of a minor requires a level of compassion and care unparalleled by any other situation. Thus, my anger for prohibitionists is partially rooted in their lack of care for this very impressionable sect of society. Situations like edie j’s where the parents clearly have a detailed understanding and an immense desire to protect their children from the dangers which may be exacerbated by genetic disposition are simply proof that the legal statutes ought to reflect a desire for the parents to be the first line of defense against degeneration. That is to say, instead of completely lying to the public about the dangers of a given substance or activity we ought to educate the entire population (adults and minors) the way we do with tobacco or alcohol. I am not a parent and I applaud those of you who are and who are being open with your kids about the gamut of difficulties facing teens today. School, Girls (or relationships rather), Who is popular, who isn’t, all of these things seem to become steadily more important as kids go from age 11 through high school. I always felt like I had to drink to make it through the weekend keeping my sanity and it wasnt until after several unfortunate consequences that I learned that substance abuse was no answer. The fact is, the earlier we curtail a methodology of abstinence and instead embrace moderation (but true moderation) in both our child rearing and in our own social interaction the sooner we will see teen angst and depression rates drop.
if you suspect, or know that your teen is smoking pot, you seriously should not freak out. dont get mad, and dont ask for names of who else is doing it, and if you do get names, dont go calling other peoples parents, that will just screw up your child’s social life completely. just ask them why they do it, and just ask them if they do it in a safe place. you can try and stop it, but its gonna happen. and if your child and his/her friends come to your home and they appear to be under the influence, dont call the other childs parents, just explain that they need to tell their parents. i am a teenager and i know what its like to be in that kind of a situation, dont be reactive, be proactive. and if you smoked pot at any time in your life, you should let your teen know that if you find out they are smoking.
My 17 year old son confessed to trying pot last May and I didn’t get angry, and I told him that I have tried it when he asked if I ever did. However, I told him that he had his fun trying it and to refrain from doing it anymore while he is a developing young person who still needs to finish H.S. and go to college. I told him that it can mess up his ambition in life and he could get in trouble with the law. Then I found out he smoked it on New Year’s Eve last month. I grounded him for 2 months and confiscated his cell phone. A couple of his friends sent text msgs asking about him selling some pot and if he does how much does he charge. So I confronted him about it and he swore to me that he never sold it and was only thinking about doing it at some point. Anyway, he is now ungrounded but I told him I would drug test him randomly to find out when/if he continues to smoke pot. I’m not sure what else to do at this time, as I’m not sure if I’m over-reacting by grounding him every time I find out he smokes pot. Everytime I second-guess myself and question my reasoning, I end the battle of guilt by reassuring myself that I would rather do that than turn the other cheek and have something bad happen to him. Even though something bad can happen know matter what, at least I can say to myself that I have done everything I know how to keep my son safe.
heck i’d be worried if i had a highschool aged child that didn’t try pot.
i would let them know about all the dangers of Pot (that would take about 30 seconds) I’d then let them know that they shouldn’t smoke it, in the same way that they shouldn’t drink - Try it Sure - go ahead …but use - not now - wait until you’re settled into life and career before trying to fit things like Pot or alchohol into your life.
Sara, I graduated from high school two years ago and I will tell you that its nothing to be concerned about. Everyone smokes pot in high school at least occasionally and through out the next few years of your sons life he will probably do less and less until he stops. I think the fact that he admitted it to you is amazing and showed that he was uncomfortable keeping things from you. However your over-reaction to finding out he smoked again can be detrimental to your relationship with him. Realize that soon he will be 18 and its not really your decision what he does, instead of being upset that he smokes be happy that he isn’t doing hardcore drugs or drinking and driving.
My son has experimented with pot a few times. I can tell, because he is alot more agitated with me than usual and acts out-violently.
One time he was throwing up from smoking hash with his cousin. I talked to him about his plans for his future and his cousin’s plans for their future. They are quite different. I don’t know what the future holds, but with both parents surviving addictions issues, the odds are stacked against him, and I wanted him to know that.
Mike, I really valued your comments above. I don’t like my son smoking either but he has all A’s and seems to be a very responsible kid. His teachers love him and always comment about what a good kid he is. What scares me though is that he seems to be depressed lately. I tell him that the pot could potentially cause the depression. He says the pot combats the depression. I don’t agree. Do you get depressed? Not sure what to do now?
Maybe all the parents who are worried about the effects pot could have on their kids should try it themselves. That way they’d know what it’s like from first-hand experience.
I feel like I’m reading comments from myself when I read Lorriee’s post (and my name is also Lori)! We have a 17 year old senior who gets straight As, is ranked 4th in a class of over 400 and is responsible in other obvious ways - yet we know he’s a habitual pot user. I suspect that he’s using it every day. He’s also had issues with depression in the past and I wonder/feel that he is using it to self medicate. We strugle with how to handle this becuase he does not think his use is wrong. My concern is that he is addicted and/or that it will lead to other drugs which will ultimately be an addicition issue. We have a history of narcotic addiction in our family. I honestly don’t know how to handle this. He’s seen two counselors in the past - one for depression before the pot use started, and one after we found out for the second time that he was using. He didn’t click with the counselors, and we felt like it wasn’t doing anything so we let him quit. I’m wondering if some sort of family therapy/counseling would be better. I just hate to see him throw away all his hard work becuase he’s making a stupid decision to use. He’s hoping to go to college next year out of state (on an academic scholarship) and I’m terrified that he will get caught using and lose that. Do most colleges have some sort of policy related to drug use and retention of scholarships? If he’s using this much at home (where he has to try to hide it), what will happen when he goes away to college next year and he can do it as much as he wants? It scares me to death. I know we can’t stop him from using unless he wants to - I just want him to stay safe, and weigh the risk of what he’s doing in relation to the benefit.
-Stephanie
I’m curious, where did you get the idea that smoking pot would make a person violent? This is not listed in any effects list I have ever read, with the exception of the 1930s propaganda film Reefer Madness.
Marijuana can have negative effects, certainly, but violence has never been proven to be one of them.
Lori, I just read your March 24, 2009 message. Our stories sound so similar. I have an 18 year old daughter, also a Senior, academically doing very well. We just found out in the past month or so that she is a habitual pot user, expressed that she has been depressed for the past year, saw a counselor once and not sure if she wants to go again. I know she is self-medicating, trying to numb the pain of an up and down relationship since 9th grade and who knows what else. Thankfully, she, too, has been accepted into a college of her choice. My husband and my relationship with our daughter has also been rocky these past few years. My husband, especially, has been struggling so much. It is so painful to see your child making destructive choices that could (and hopefully doesn’t) last a lifetime. Have you found any helpful websites, resources, etc.? It is so hard to know what to do. Wishing your family the very best.
Jane
All-does counseling work? My 17 y/o grades have slipped, no interest in sports anymore, hanging w/ a different crowd, admits w/ pressure that he smokings pot and doesn’t see anything wrong w/ it. We have grounded him, taken the car away etc at times when we know that he has used~no effect. He even has had 2 buddies get busted~no effect. Just got a 3 day suspension for cell phone use at school and I am afraid he’ll just sit home and get high. I feel like I need a babysitter for him….
My 17 year old son began smoking pot about a year ago. In the last year failed many of his classes, ditched more classes than he attended and finally stopped going to school altogether. He doesn’t have a job and all he cares about is hanging out with his friends and getting high. His relationships with family are suffering, which is really sad because we have a very close family. He lies, steals, doesn’t come home when he is supposed to, etc. He continues to bring pot into the home, even after I reported him the police AND after our puppy found and chewed on a marijuana pipe.
I have tried taking him to different counselors to try to find someone he feels comfortable with and at this point he is completely refusing help of any kind and does not think he has a problem.
My question is-He obviously needs professional help, but how do I make my son get help when he doesn’t want it and doesn’t even see he has a problem. I am a complete loss and feel so helpless and out of control.
I am a 15 year old man and iv been smoking pot since i was 11 years old my mom has cought me 3 time and she is always dissapointed but never pissed if you catch your son and dont want them to smoke pot the dont hammer them be kind and tell them what yopu think and hope for the best
My son is 16 and we have caught him smoking pot a few times in the last few months. Our initial response was to take his cellphone, and block certain phone numbers and not allow him to hang out with the kids he smoked with.
Before this time, he would get upset when he discovered that a friend was smoking and stop hanging out with them…..but he now says that since all the kids are smoking, he wouldn’t be able to socialize with anyone!
He is an honors student, and parents always tell us what a good kid he is and how glad they are that their son has a friend like him.
The last time we busted him was right before he was supposed to take his driver’s test to get his license. He knew that we wouldn’t allow him to get it if he was smoking but he just doesn’t seem to care.
He’s been restricted now for several weeks and I am becoming depressed just seeing my once active, sociable kid moping around the house because we can’t trust him to go anywhere or do anything.
Bottom line is he would rather smoke than get his license.
He said he doesn’t want to lie to us about not smoking.
I am ready to just let him go and pray that he doesn’t do anything stupid. I know I cannot control him nor do I want to. He needs to control himself.
I also have a 17 year old senior. He was on the honor roll all of 11 grade, but this year decided to start smoking pot. He does have a job and does very well at it, but he is failing classes, skipping classes, going in late and doesn’t seem to care about anything anymore. I feel that it is partly because he is not going away to college and just going to a community college and doesn’t feel like he ever had to try hard. I’ve talked to him about smoking pot and he doesn’t feel like it’s a big deal. He hangs around with kids that do it. One kid he hangs around with has robbed someones house, steals his mom’s prescription medication and my son continues to hang around with him. I wish he would make new friends. His other friend just got caught with pot in his car and my son and his other friend were in the car. Although my son did not get busted, it didn’t seem to scare him at all. I keep telling him that it’s illegal and if he continues to do it, he too will get caught and then have to go to court and we don’t have the money for a lawyer and his comment is “ok”. His personality has changed, he gets nasty and curses at me when I try to set consequences. How do I get him to stop smoking and to care about his future?
I see that most of you people on here think that smoking pot is harmless but it is not. These days pot is laced with many other drugs so while you or your kid may be smoking pot you could also be injesting meth and other drugs too. I have witnessed how smoking pot makes people do stupid things and they get very forgetful and can’t remember things for very long. So from what I have witnessed smoking pot is just as bad as consuming alcohol because they both impair your thought process and other abilities. Plus I have never known any productive stoners. I have lived with a stoner and known many other stoners and from what lived and seen stoners barely have a life at all let alone a productive life.