I never cry while watching movies. But leave it to me to somehow become a choking, snotting, weeping mess in the middle of the theater during the last twenty minutes of Juno, which is, of all things, a comedy.
For those of you who don’t know, Juno depicts the nine months immediately following the 16-year-old title character’s first sexual experience, from the plus sign developing on a home pregnancy test to the moment Juno’s new baby meets his adoptive mother. While the entire film is fantastic, the particular scene that set me off was one in which Juno’s father enters his daughter’s hospital room a few hours after she has given birth. Sitting on a sobbing Juno’s bed, he tenderly tells her, “Someday you’ll be back here, honey. On your terms.” Rarely in movies—or in life—are complex emotions expressed so beautifully in so few words.
What I love about this line and Juno in its entirety is that it wholeheartedly sympathizes with the misguided, love- and attention-seeking teenager, while also fully acknowledging that when it comes to sex, teens often bite off much more than they can chew. Juno is so refreshing because it’s one of the first movies in ages to portray unplanned teen pregnancy not as an apocalyptic occurrence, but simply as another bullet point on the astronomically long list of mistakes that young people make as they reach adulthood. At the same time, the tears shed and problems suffered by all characters throughout the film make it clear that teenage pregnancy does not come without emotional turmoil, from the hurt an expecting mother feels after being called a degrading name to the inexplicable sadness and loneliness a woman experiences after giving up her child. That is why I’m baffled (not to mention disgusted) as to how Juno and other recent releases such as Waitress and Knocked Up can now be criticized for “glamorizing” unplanned pregnancy and for spurring the Gloucester, MA pregnancy phenomenon.
Sex, I’m guessing, is probably the toughest topic to discuss with your teenager. Besides the ooey-gooey awkward stuff, there’s the mind-boggling paradox that having sex is both one of the worst and one of the least shameful things a person can ever do. On the one hand, sex ranks as one of the very few things in the world that can have literally lifelong consequences. Other half-baked decisions teenagers make on a daily basis—to drink on school property, to attend forbidden parties—are typically met with hangovers or groundings or even school suspensions, but all of these punishments sting for only a limited time. Meanwhile, every time a teenager—or anyone, for that matter—chooses to engage in sexual activity, she puts herself at risk to get not a grounding, but a baby. It’s hard to imagine that any responsible parent would give his/her child the “go ahead” to do something that could drastically change the entire course of her life.
On the other hand, sex is, in its purest form, about connection, and one of the most dangerous (and nearly irreversible) things a parent can do is instill in his/her child apathy or fear of connecting with other individuals. Many parents, in skirting this issue, fall into the murky waters of the “You Can Have Sex When You’re In Love” trap, which is…well, what is that? There are plenty of 16-year-olds who think they are in love. I don’t think they’re in love, but I also don’t claim to have the market cornered on understanding this particular concept. In fact, I don’t think I’ll be any clearer on the subject when I’m 30 or 50 or 82. Is there anyone in the world who had sex for the first time with a completely lucid and flawless notion of what “being in love” truly is?
It’s frustrating to think that we might cut short this new trend of movies showing what parents can’t talk about and sex ed classes can’t teach because people would rather blame teen pregnancy on Hollywood than the facts: girls starved for love are going to look for it in the wrong places. Kids whose parents don’t talk to them openly and honestly about sex have an even vaguer concept of its emotional and physical consequences than the rest of us. And, most importantly, teenagers’ judgment is sub-par, and teens often have not-the-greatest ideas (pregnancy pact? Really?). Parents who want to point fingers at Juno and the rest of the film industry for “glamorizing unplanned pregnancy” are parents who don’t want to accept these truths, and take responsibility to counteract them as much as possible.
That’s my take on the whole thing. What do you think?
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I think that the people pointing the finger at these movies are the same people that don’t discuss these issues within the home. If anything, the ideas portrayed, can be great conversation starters. These parents should be grateful they have a reason to breach such a difficult subject.
I really enjoyed this article. I too feel that “they” are pointing a finger to ease their guilt. We are all human and we all make mistakes. But teenagers are still learning and need to feel they can trust their parent/s. I have a 14-year-old daughter, she is the joy of my life most of the time. Other days, well maybe minutes, she becomes a raging teenage hormone. She does not rationlly think of the consequences of any of her actions. That is what I am here for. I try to prevent the inneviatable, but this can prove almost impossible. So we try to find a learning experience in what she did and that helps her feel better and it also helps her realize why what she did was wrong. I remember my mom telling me, “Because I am the Mom, that’s why.” She felt explaining the reason was not important.
I too thought the movie took a really positive approach, and I liked your take on it. However, I am disappointed with the way your article downplays the dangers of underage drinking. In fact, research shows that teen girls who binge drink are 63% more likely to become pregnant in the first place. Drinking when the brain and body are not fully developed can lead to not only health risks like addiction and alcohol dependency, but drinking too much can lead to alcohol poisoning and even death. Many teens are unaware that you can die from drinking too much, and it is important to remind them of this when you mention underage drinking in writing. Teens are also more likely than adults to take risks like drink and drive when they are intoxicated, and car accidents involving alcohol are the leading cause of death among 18-25 year olds. Talk about lifelong consequences!