There’s Lyrics in Them There Songs
I am convinced that musicians can get away with anything. Not only do they get all the babes, they also get a free pass when it comes to the content of their work. As long as there is a catchy beat that you can dance to, Americans will forgive almost any lyric in a song.
You want proof, consider that it is virtually impossible to go to a family oriented event like a professional sporting event without seeing the crowd going wild singing along with the song YMCA. Singing along implies that they know the lyrics. Yet, none seem to mind that the lyrics are about gay men cruising the YMCA for other gay men in order to pick them up for casual sex. How does the crowd - many of whom object to the very notion of teaching sex ed in school - react to the song? They help spell out the words with their bodies.
But lyrics aren’t just for sex. Whether it’s the abstract analysis of “Puff the Magic Dragon” and “Bridge Over Troubled Water” or the blatant “Cocaine,” popular songs have long been exploring - and often extolling - the abuse of drugs and alcohol. Last week the American Public Health Association came out with a study that indicated one third of the most popular songs in 2005 referenced drugs and alcohol.
According to the study, there was a wide separationg by genre. Fourteen percent of rock songs featured drugs and alcohol compared to 37% for country and 77% for rap.
I’m not about to go all Tipper Gore about this. (For the record, I think Tipper got a bum rap about the whole labeling thing.) But I do think we should listen to the songs our kids listen to. Behind the music and behind the beat, there’s a message in these songs. We owe it to our kids to do more than spell out the words without thinking about their meanings.
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Are you insane? Do you actually believe the urban legends about famous children’s songs? Songs can mean what ever you want them to believe, that’s why they call it interpretation not translation. Is American Pie the story of Buddy Holly’s death or is it a tale of a opiate dream? Maybe even both?
Puff the Magic Dragon is a song from my childhood about the loss of childhood innocence. Bridge Over Troubled Water is at least a song about friendship or at most used as a religious song. That you see drugs and sex in every song might say something about you. Yes, there are songs about drugs, alcohol, sex, and the virtues of living the rock star life, but be careful which songs you choose to include in that. And in case you’re wondering, while the Village People were assembled and had some of their songs *written* by a homosexual man, the song is about *gasp* the virtues of friendship one can find at *gasp* the Young Male Christian Athlete complex.
Let’s do a reality check here. Did you know there are even some rock songs about how drugs and the rock and roll life has been a bad thing? Pay attention and with all due respect, get your facts straight before you lay down “facts” like this.
Why not teach your children the difference between fiction and reality? Why not rely on your parenting skills to keep your children off drugs? Remember, censorship only increases the desirability of the thing that’s been censored. So why not TALK to your children about the music they’re listening to, rather than just assume it’s all about drugs.
“A free pass when it comes to the content of their work” is called freedom of speech. People can buy and produce whatever music they want, about whatever they want. Your kids are going to listen to what they want to listen to. If your kids take everything they listen to literally and take drugs or whatever because of a song, that’s more of a commentary on your parenting skills than anything else.
I agree mostly with Erin Lowe, but I have to disagree with “Bob Dylan” referring to kids winding up in trouble because of bad parenting skills. Any child psychologist would likely tell you that even the best of parents can turn out 3 terrific kids and have a fourth one (in whatever birth order) be the family “black sheep” because perhaps that one child has the inborn tendency to have to learn things the hard way and not be others’ examples or reading or listening to their parents/counselors/teachers etc.
That stated - parents do need to be involved with their children and the quantity of time they spend with their kids is just as important to what they do together (e.g. my husband learned that taking his kids to electronics stores bored them to death to the point they didn’t want to go out with him anywhere; their relationship changed when he did things like go cycling with them or play catch, go swimming together - etc. Every family I know that has turned out mostly good kids into decent adults has kept their kids busy - especially in sports activities so the kids can burn off energy and raise their levels of endorphins to counter the mood swings so prevalent in adolescence (especially young girls) - so there was no time for their kids’ mind to wander into things other than schoolwork and no time to get in trouble or ‘experiment’ with anything because of being bored. Physically active kids have a healthy way to vent their emotions.
Don’t let other people raise your children. Stay tuned into them - so even if your kid(s) hit a bump in the road at least you’re there to help them back onto the bicycle of life.
I do agree it’s important to listen to your child’s music however. Some kids are the type to really get into the lyrics and buy into what the artists are saying - and some other types of kids it just doesn’t seem to phase them because it’s the music that gets their attention not the lyrics. Be in tune with your children well enough to know which type child(ren) is (are).
There is no “recipe” for raising clean, balanced children. I agreed with Evelyn, who said that parents can raise 4 children, with 3 ending up problem-free and one who is destined to have all sorts of issues. Or in the case of my friend, twins who ended up at opposite ends of the spectrum - go figure. Both had opportunities/were encouraged to stay physically active, be engaged in intellectual activities, had involved parents, the same family dinners, religious services, and largely supportive atmosphere in which to grow and thrive…why did one end up an academic and athletic all-star who runs on auto-pilot w/out even a speeding ticket, while the other ended up in a treatment facility due to behavioral issues and addiction - and he still isn’t “getting it” in spite of the parents’ and communities’ best efforts? It is easy for others to say, “Oh, the parents should have done this or that”, but ultimately wiring and choices on the part of the adolescent play a huge role as well. Why do they make the choices they do? Sometimes it’s the way the wind blows… Would we do things differently if we were teens again? Brilliance of hindsight, sure, most of us would. That’s why we don’t have adolescents running nuclear power plants, right?
I run an agency that helps parents whose children have serious issues (aoda, mental health, etc…). Every story is different, but every parent feels isolated, as if they can’t talk with anyone and are very alone. Yet they’ve all worked hard to deal with their issues in their own ways. It would help a great deal if we could be more supportive of each other and less judgmental as parents. That would go a long way to reduce stereotypes and stigma.
Thanks for your time.
- Stacey