That’s the question that haunts me. 

More than anything, the one thing I most wanted to be was a father.  Unlike those movies where the main character has it all but is unhappy until he finally realizes that all that really matters is his family, I always knew it.  But, the question still haunts me - What if I’m not good at this?

If I’m bad at my job, my boss can fire me.  If I’m a jerk to my friends, they can stop being my friends.  But my kids only get one dad.  When it comes to those go ask your dad moments, I’m the one they’re coming to.  And, when I fall short, they’re the ones that pay the price.

Unlike those movies, where everything gets tied up in a neat bow, you never know for sure. 

I try to arm them with everything they’ll need to face down the demons and the dangers.  I try to talk and listen.  I try to stay involved in their lives.  I try to tell them I love them and more importantly show them that I love them.  I even sneak into their rooms after they fall asleep and whisper to them, hoping that on some subconscious level they’ll know how incredible they are.

Then I go and lie in bed.  And when the doubts hit me, I do my best to give the one answer that keeps me going.  Maybe I am.

• 	Posted by: James Ponti | 0 Comment(s)
  	Share this : del.icio.us |  Digg |  Facebook  |  Newsvine

A Clio, Michigan police officer, checking on a truck that got stuck in the mud at a city park, was startled to find a 13-year-old boy behind the wheel. The boy’s father, who was sitting in the passenger seat, told police he had had too much to drink and let his son drive.  Now here’s the kicker – Police said the boy had been drinking, too.

I guess parental supervision isn’t always what it’s cracked up to be, eh?

This story is just so bad on so many levels, I don’t know where to begin.  I think we all make mistakes in the margin, but this one is a no-brainer.  Literally.

Am I being too harsh?

• 	Posted by: Sarit Catz | 0 Comment(s)
  	Share this : del.icio.us |  Digg |  Facebook  |  Newsvine

I am convinced that musicians can get away with anything.  Not only do they get all the babes, they also get a free pass when it comes to the content of their work.  As long as there is a catchy beat that you can dance to, Americans will forgive almost any lyric in a song. 

You want proof, consider that it is virtually impossible to go to a family oriented event like a professional sporting event without seeing the crowd going wild singing along with the song YMCA.  Singing along implies that they know the lyrics.  Yet, none seem to mind that the lyrics are about gay men cruising the YMCA for other gay men in order to pick them up for casual sex.  How does the crowd - many of whom object to the very notion of teaching sex ed in school - react to the song?  They help spell out the words with their bodies.

But lyrics aren’t just for sex.  Whether it’s the abstract analysis of “Puff the Magic Dragon” and “Bridge Over Troubled Water” or the blatant “Cocaine,” popular songs have long been exploring - and often extolling - the abuse of drugs and alcohol.  Last week the American Public Health Association came out with a study that indicated one third of the most popular songs in 2005 referenced drugs and alcohol. 

According to the study, there was a wide separationg by genre.  Fourteen percent of rock songs featured drugs and alcohol compared to 37% for country and 77% for rap. 

I’m not about to go all Tipper Gore about this.  (For the record, I think Tipper got a bum rap about the whole labeling thing.)  But I do think we should listen to the songs our kids listen to.   Behind the music and behind the beat, there’s a message in these songs.  We owe it to our kids to do more than spell out the words without thinking about their meanings.

• 	Posted by: James Ponti | 5 Comment(s)
  	Share this : del.icio.us |  Digg |  Facebook  |  Newsvine

Wasn’t there a time when we thought Europeans were so sophisticated because they all had wine with dinner?  I remember, when I was studying French in seventh grade, how my teacher explained that, because the French give their children watered-down wine with dinner, alcohol is really no big deal in Europe and that’s why they have fewer problems with alcohol than we do.  It’s not a forbidden fruit and therefore not as appealing to young people.  They drink in moderation and everything’s great.

Well…

Ladies’ Day at Royal Ascot - CLA-SSY!!      (Getty Images)

Currently there are riots breaking out all over Italy, allegedly about soccer or some nonsense.  It’s well known, in fact, that European soccer matches are notorious for drunken hooliganism.  Fights break out regularly, fueled for the most part by alcohol consumption.  Very sophisticated.

In Britain, a new report shows binge drinking among women is on the rise, as it is here in the U.S.  Nothing says refinement like stumbling home and puking your guts out - or sticking your head between your legs like our British friend above.  The pub is an integral part of UK culture.  My husband told me that when he was studying in London during college and he wanted to consult with a professor, they would regularly hold office hours in the local pub.

I guess what I’m saying is that alcohol abuse is cross-cultural and we need to make sure we don’t glamorize it or give our kids the impression that it’s sophisticated.  Because, well, you can see for yourself.

• 	Posted by: Sarit Catz | 3 Comment(s)
  	Share this : del.icio.us |  Digg |  Facebook  |  Newsvine

Do your kids have multiple personalities or is it just mine?  Specifically my almost-10-year-old daughter Freckles.  Last week, I was absolutely at my wit’s end with her.  Everything was “this is the worst day/morning/hour/song/shirt/shoe/night of my life” and “I hate this show/these jeans/this book/my brother/school/you.”  Absolutely everything sent her into a tailspin and subsequently sent me into a tailspin.

How does that happen?  When they’re born, the umbilical cord is cut.  I remember this.  I was there.  And yet, somehow, we feel all their emotions.  Not only do we feel for them because we love them, but they have the ability to push all our buttons like nobody else.

I am not a yeller, but when Freckles complained about the 617th thing in a 22-minute timespan, I lost it.  I did.  “I didn’t sign up for this,” I remember thinking.  (I think that a lot.)  “How did that adorable curly-headed Botticelli-angel-baby turn into this relentlessly negative fire-breathing monster?”  And I “breathed” back.  “Stop complaining.  Just stop.  I don’t want to hear one more negative thing.  Think whatever you want, but don’t say it.”

I know that yelling only adds to the tension.  I know it gets shut out.  I know, I know.  But, you know, I’m human.

Anyway, probably not because of the yelling and not necessarily coincidental to the yelling but at some point subsequent to the yelling, things changed.

This week, Freckles has been my best little buddy.  An absolute pleasure.  Last night, when I was putting her to bed, she handed me a folded-up origami envelope on which she’d written “Mommy.”  I asked if I could open it on the spot and she said yes.  Inside, Freckles had written, “I ♥ you.  ♥ Freckles.”  I shut off the lights, crawled into bed with her, stroked her hair and kissed her nose.  Angel-baby was back.  Big time.

• 	Posted by: Sarit Catz | 0 Comment(s)
  	Share this : del.icio.us |  Digg |  Facebook  |  Newsvine

Forget politics, if you want strange bedfellows go no farther than the world of substance abuse in popular culture.  This week’s odd couple is none other than the glamorous and petite former tennis star Martina Hingis and the beefy and gruff current football coach Andy Reid.  Whether it’s fair of not - this week they are the public face of celebrity drug use.

Hingis retired from tennis after acknowledging that a drug test at Wimbledon returned positive for cocaine.   Reid was thrust into the spotlight when his two sons were sent to prison for multiple drug offenses and a judge described the family home as a “Drug Emporium.”

But some questions arise and I would like to hear some answers from other parents.  First of all, do we as a society totally dismiss Ms. Hingis’s claims of innocence?  (Certainly, we’ve heard other athletes and celebrities claim innocence only to be proven guilty later.)  Does the fact that it was cocaine and not a performance enhancing drug, change our collective perspective?  And, here’s a dicier one, does the fact that she’s not American play into the reaction she is receiving?

Now, onto Mr. Reid.  Are his sons’ troubles really newsworthy?  After all, the boys are not public figures?  Is the public debate about their drug abuse, or our perceived opinions of his parenting?

I’d like to hear what you think. 

• 	Posted by: James Ponti | 0 Comment(s)
  	Share this : del.icio.us |  Digg |  Facebook  |  Newsvine