Just read this fantastic guest blog on Lisa Belkin’s Motherlode (New York Times). This brave mother, Janice Lynch Schuster, has two teens currently battling what she figuratively refers to as a “big black snake” – or, as it is more commonly known, drug and alcohol addiction. I’m sure that most parents who have watched their children struggle with a drug problem would agree that Schuster is right on target when she compares addiction to a scary – and possibly deadly –snake.

Facing her children’s drug problems, she writes, used to paralyze her. Even when she wanted to confront the monster, she was reduced to ineffectively yelling, taking away things that her kids could just get more of, and convincing herself that drug use was simply a rite of passage for teens. But luckily, Schuster finally got strong enough to intervene and get help for both her addicted children. Here’s a great quote from the post:

“I insisted that first one child and then another be admitted to a substance-abuse recovery program, a residential program that specializes in treating children, like mine, who are alcoholics and drug addicts. Just writing that is painful and foreign; it is as difficult as speaking in the snake’s tongue. The language of addiction is full of loss — lost opportunities, lost lives, lost potential, lost families, lost time. Now both children are in what is called recovery — they have been clean and sober, one for about eight weeks and the other for scarcely more than two.”

For those of you who can relate to Schuster’s story, I highly encourage you to check out Intervene, our newly launched blog here at the Partnership. We’re so proud of Intervene because it’s more than just a website – it’s a supportive community of parents and caring adults concerned about a beloved teen or young adult’s drug use. Right now, we have some very inspiring guest bloggers posting, including two authors with new books out and one wonderful woman who has been running marathons all over the world to raise funds and awareness for drug addiction and treatment.

And remember, you can also visit our website TimeToAct if you suspect or know your teenager is using drugs. TimeToAct has tips on how to initiate a conversation and get your child help.

• 	Posted by: Joe Keenan | 0 Comment(s)
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At long last a simple online tool to help decode text messages: http://www.lgdtxtr.com/

• 	Posted by: Joe Keenan | 1 Comment(s)
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Recently, we had a scary incident occur at school for our 12-year-old son, Adam, that merits sharing.

At the beginning of the school year, Adam’s first year in middle school, he befriended a boy I wasn’t completely comfortable with for various reasons (we’ll call the boy Joe). Adam, a kid with a big heart who befriends just about everyone, genuinely liked Joe and hung out with him. I remained cautious, but allowed him to invite Joe over from time to time. I shared my concern and how I felt about Joe with Adam, but it was hard to argue with my son because he truly liked this child and didn’t have any real reason not to.

Then, months went by and we didn’t see Joe. I asked Adam about it and he said he didn’t feel comfortable around him anymore. I wasn’t about to argue with him since I was uncomfortable around him as well, but felt better knowing Adam could sense something wasn’t right.
(More…)

• 	Posted by: Tara Paterson | 2 Comment(s)
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In the past 6 months, we have gotten about 20 to 30 emails from young people as well as parents reporting that shoplifting is a major concern.  Here are some thoughts from my research as well as our teen trendsetter network.

Ideas on Shoplifting:

1) Shoplifting Is Old
Shoplifting has always been a problem among young people.  I think that perhaps we are now seeing more of a problem, but parents and adults who think that this has not been an issue for every generation are mistaken.  Shoplifting is an old problem; it is just dressed a little differently…

2) What is Shoplifted is Different…
I asked my teen trendsetter group about this trend. They said that what is mainly different about shoplifting today is that what’s stolen is no longer just gum and snacks.  Today, it is iTunes gift cards and Red Bull.

Top 5 Things Teens Shoplift:
iTunes Cards
Red Bull
Snacks
Candy
Magazines

3) Alcohol and Cigarettes
These did not make the top 5, but were towards the top.  Many teens, when asked, do not consider stealing alcohol shoplifting.  In fact, one of my teen advisors says, “Stealing alcohol is like a rite of passage.  You do it to grow up.  Plus, we practically deserve to get alcohol for free because we CAN’T buy it.  I would buy it if they would let me.  I steal it because they will not let me buy it.”

(More…)

• 	Posted by: Vanessa Van Petten | 0 Comment(s)
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“I am free, I am free, I am free!”

I have heard both parents and teens chant this as they pack up the minivan and leave for college.  Yet, parents often watch their kids leave, with tears in their eyes and forget to cover some essential pre-freshman topics. Since it’s now June, and your high school seniors are either graduating soon or have just graduated, I thought I’d share some advice with you so you can use the whole summer to start preparing your teen for college. (More…)

• 	Posted by: Vanessa Van Petten | 2 Comment(s)
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Doesn’t it seem like we’re getting hit with a lot of bad news these days? Well, here’s some good news to brighten your day: Little Leaguers are in agreement that use of performance-enhancing substances is bad.

Sure, they don’t seem to entirely comprehend the health risks of using steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs. But your 11- and 12-year-old boys do know what has gone on, and they’re very clear that they don’t like it. Many Little Leaguers say that they’re disappointed with their favorite players, and some even call those under scrutiny “cheaters.” But more importantly, these young players are vowing not to let performance-enhancing substances affect their own lives. Baseball leagues across the country are having their players wear “I Won’t Cheat” patches and pledge to remain clean.

But remember, parents, just because your kids are in the know about pop culture doesn’t mean you should let a teachable moment pass you by. Try discussing with your kids not just cheating, but also the physical and emotional toll steroids can have on the body. And be conscious not to be too hard on your kid’s hero - the Little Leaguers mentioned in the article above agreed that the pros “messed up,” but they also believe the players deserve a second chance.

• 	Posted by: Joe Keenan | 0 Comment(s)
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Just read mommy blogger Lisa Belkin’s article in the New York Times Magazine entitled “Let the Kid Be.”

Let the kid be? What does this mean exactly?

Here at the Partnership, we believe in creating and maintaining a strong bond with one’s teen. Parents need to stay involved, keep an ongoing dialogue with their kids, and know their whereabouts, their friends, their school habits and their online activities.

But Belkin brings up some good food for thought – at what point does concerned, involved parenting actually become helicopter parenting (or “I-am-never-going-to-let-my-kid-out-of-my-sight parenting,” as Belkin jokingly calls it)?

Maybe, as this article suggests, just “chilling” is the smartest thing we can do as moms and dads. We’ll be less stressed and fearful of parental failure, our kids will feel less stifled, and we may even save some cash in these tight economic times. But, on the other hand – can you really ever be over-involved as a parent? After all, it’s our job (and our instinct) to help and protect our kids.

What do you think? When does protecting become overprotecting? Where do you draw the line between good parenting and helicopter parenting – or do you not draw a line at all?

• 	Posted by: Joe Keenan | 2 Comment(s)
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Yesterday I posted a great article on just how much teens are texting these days (hint: it’s even more than you think). So it may be hard to believe that while our kids are so steeped in their own little virtual worlds, they are actually hugging and non-sexually touching each other more than ever! In fact, gratuitous hugging has become so common and disruptive lately that many middle and high schools around the country are actually banning this seemingly innocent gesture. In this article from the New York Times, Sarah Kershaw explores all the ins and outs of the new teenage hug.

So, what’s your take on all this? By banning hugging, are we making it even harder for the Facebook and Twitter generation to develop genuine human bonds? Or do you think teens right now are creeping into dangerous—or at least uncomfortable—territory? (For more perspective, see what our guest blogger Vanessa has to say here.)

• 	Posted by: Joe Keenan | 2 Comment(s)
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One of my teen clients recently did a science lab in which she had to use Lego sets to build something. She told me that she normally hated building, but she loved this project because it made her feel efficient. Efficiency, she said, is the greatest feeling.

The more I thought about it, the more I agreed. In fact, I think that letting teens feel efficient is actually a great self-esteem booster for them. Because I believe that efficiency is so important for teens, I’ve come up with a couple of scenarios where you as a parent can help your teen feel more efficient:

• When doing homework, encourage teens to do the subject they feel most proficient in and can complete most quickly first. They’ll feel less frustrated by the harder, more difficult homework assignments that follow.
• If your teen is feeling down or bad about herself, think of activities that will make her feel efficient and have her do them to boost her mood.

Remember, teens struggle through a lot (homework assignments, boring school novels, SAT/ACT prep), so it’s important to show them—not just remind them—that they can actually zip through certain things. And you can even use your kids’ efficiency to your own advantage—have them wrap some gifts, unload the dishwasher, or fold the laundry for you!

• 	Posted by: Vanessa Van Petten | 0 Comment(s)
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