This clever little word play is more than a headline - it is the title of the most recent book I had published.  I can say it’s clever because I didn’t come up with it.  It was given to me along with the chance to write a book about Prom and all the inherent ups and downs, laughter and heartbreak that goes along with it.  Unfortunately the last prom I had much information about took place in Jacksonville Beach, Florida in 1984.  (I wore a baby blue bow tie and cummerbund, they were very eighties.) 

Since I was out of date, I had to do some research.  I arranged for a group of current high school seniors to walk me through their most recent prom.  I also talked to the prom sponsor at my local high school and some other assorted people in the know.  With all of them, I promised total discretion.  I wasn’t looking to tell secrets or get anyone in trouble.  I just wanted to know what really happened.  They were frank and open. 

The writer in me was thrilled - there was a trove of information and potential plotlines. 

The parent in me, however, was horrified.

The storylines that most interested me involved love, heartbreak and coming to terms with personal identity.  (These tend to be major themes in my writing.)  But, so much of what I was being told centered on serious alcohol abuse.  Apparently, there is an understanding among many teenagers that prom is the night of nights.  This is the night when teenagers become adults and with that comes alcohol and sexual activity.  (Often, these go hand in hand for really poor decision making.)

The schools seems to be doing a pretty good job of keeping alcohol (and drugs) away from the prom.  At our local high school, students have to walk a cordon of administrators who are checking everything from breath to coordination to any other group of signals that something is wrong.  Many schools also have after prom events that are completely alcohol free. 

But, teenager after teenager told me about hard core drinking - mostly happening at after prom events and much of it with tacit if not explicit approval of some parents.  It was this last part that really shook me.  When my child goes to another teenager’s house, my expectation is that the parents won’t be supplying drinks.  Luckily my son is still a few years from prom.  During those years I’ll try to figure out how to make sure his Prama is limited to broken hearts and bad fashion decisions.  If you have any suggestions as to how to do this, I’m all ears.

• 	Posted by: James Ponti | 1 Comment(s)
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This prom season, some Minnesota high school students will be puking their guts out.  Fortunately, not because they’re drunk.  Check it out:

Litchfield H.S. Rents Mall of America Theme Park for Prom 
School hopes to combat after-prom drinking with exclusive rental 

LITCHFIELD, Minn. — Litchfield High School is holding its prom at the Mall of America this Saturday.

200 students will arrive by bus dressed for prom, which will be held at the MOA Great Room.

To combat after-prom drinking, Litchfield prom-goers will have exclusive access to the Mall of America’s Nickelodeon Park rides from 11:30 p.m. to 2:30 a.m.

Saturday’s event is the first time a high school has rented out the entire theme park to celebrate prom.

******* 

I think this is a great idea.  When I went to my prom, schools didn’t organize after-parties or events.  We were on our own.  My friends and I, and our dates, slept over at one friend’s house in her pool house - with her parents checking on us.  To be honest, we were pretty tame anyway.  But, it’s a dangerous night and kids are way more advanced than I was (actually, more than I am today).

Still, even though I think it’s great that schools are trying to make sure kids are safe on prom night - and I do - I wonder if it’s the school’s job.  At the very least, parents need to check in on their kids and their friends.  Some things shouldn’t change.

• 	Posted by: Sarit Catz | 1 Comment(s)
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With the arrival of Opening Day, baseball fans have their eyes focused on the upcoming season.  A number of outlets from ESPN to talk radio to print media have commented on the fact that it’s nice to be able to finally talk about baseball instead of steroids.  Both of these are true for me.  I’m looking forward to my beloved Red Sox trying to defend their World Series title.  And I’m glad to no longer listen to debates about whether or not we should trust Roger Clemens or Brian McNamee.  But just because it’s out of the headlines, doesn’t mean the problem has been resolved.  It only means that it has burned out its freshness in our 24-hour news cycle.

It has been my experience that families work much the same way.  A problem like an addiction will come into focus and will drain all of the family’s attention for a period of time.  During this period, discussions will take place, plans will be put into motion and - most importantly - promises will be made.  During the crisis period we are at our best.  Eventually, the family trauma exhausts everyone and fades into the background.   They try to move on and hope that the problems have been solved.

We do have to move on.  And we do have to keep from dwelling on a single problem at the expense of all other considerations.  But, just as Baseball will only truly heal if the powers that be do the tough work and revisit the problem without the headlines in order to check on progress, our families will only heal if we go to the trouble of checking in on hard to talk about issues and make sure that everyone is following up on those promises.  

Just because something is out of the spotlight, doesn’t mean that it’s no longer there. 

• 	Posted by: James Ponti | 3 Comment(s)
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So, I found this story on the newswires: 

Sex Ed Can Help Prevent Teen Pregnancy

Comprehensive sex education may help reduce teen pregnancies without increasing levels of sexual intercourse or sexually transmitted diseases.

So find U.S. researchers who reviewed data from a 2002 national survey of more than 1,700 heterosexual teens, ages 15 to 19. 

The findings, published in the April issue of the Journal of Adolescent Health, support comprehensive sex education, concluded Pamela Kohler, the study’s lead author.  “There was no evidence to suggest that abstinence-only education decreased the likelihood of ever having sex or getting pregnant,” she said in a prepared statement.

This study offers “further compelling evidence” about the value of comprehensive sex education and the “ineffectiveness” of the abstinence-only approach, said Don Operario, a sex education expert and professor at Oxford University in England.

And here’s my take:

My daughter, Freckles, is in fifth grade, although she’s only 10, and she recently brought home a notice from school that they’re going to be learning about the changes the body undergoes during puberty - in other words, sex ed.  They’ll be separating the boys and the girls and showing them each different movies, which we as parents are invited to preview.  We are also allowed to opt our kids out of this program entirely.

I plan to preview the movie but mostly to prepare my daughter in case I need to.  I absolutely do not intend to opt her out of sex ed. 

In fact, I’ve been talking to my kids about sex fairly openly and pretty honestly for a long time - in terms and using concepts that are age appropriate.  Mostly this results in a lot of giggling on their part and a lot of blushing on my part.  But, I think it’s important.  Especially since Freckles has been bringing home ideas and terms that she’s picked up from friends who clearly have not been talking to their parents - or to anybody who knows anything.

So, like it or not, they’re hearing about sex whether from friends, videos, commercials, TV shows, the internet or pop music.  Best to get correct information in my opinion.  I honestly don’t know if it will help my kids avoid becoming a teen pregnancy stat, but for sure it can’t hurt.

What do you think?

• 	Posted by: Sarit Catz | 2 Comment(s)
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(Getty Images)

Steve-O, from the aptly titled MTV show “Jackass,” is on a psychiatric hold and watch in L.A.  From there, he sent an e-mail to friends saying, “I did a great deal of damage to my brain” with drugs and “now that they’ve all worn off, I’m facing the consequences.”  I’d concur with that, and I’d like to add that riding a tricycle off a cliff probably didn’t help.

• 	Posted by: Sarit Catz | 1 Comment(s)
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An investigation by the Associated Press found a vast array of pharmaceuticals — including antibiotics, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers and sex hormones — have been found in the drinking water supplies of at least 41 million Americans.

How is this happening?  Well, people take their prescribed medications and whatever their bodies don’t absorb gets flushed away.  The wastewater is treated then discharged into reservoirs, lakes and rivers.  (This fact alone makes me a little nauseous.)  Then, the water is cleaned again at drinking water treatment plants and comes out your tap.  Unfortunately, none of the purification processes actually remove all drug residue.

People, we are taking too many drugs.  Don’t get me wrong, people with illnesses should get treatment.  But don’t ask your doctor for antibiotics every time you get a cold.

Americans are taking so many drugs.  Over the past five years, the number of U.S. prescriptions rose 12 percent to a record 3.7 billion, while nonprescription drug purchases held steady around 3.3 billion, according to IMS Health and The Nielsen Co.

Our food industry uses tons of hormones and medicines on livestock and even our pets are now treated for arthritis, cancer, heart disease, diabetes, allergies, dementia, and even obesity — sometimes with the same drugs as humans. The inflation-adjusted value of veterinary drugs rose by 8 percent, to $5.2 billion, over the past five years, according to an analysis of data from the Animal Health Institute.

Granted, the levels of these medicines are very low, but over time there’s no telling how much of theses drugs we’re taking unknowingly and worse, giving to our kids. 

And don’t think that if you use bottled water or a home filtration system that you’re safe.  Many water bottlers simply repackage tap water, and even if they don’t, the pharmaceuticals are in the ground water too.  Home filtration systems, usually carbon filters, don’t strain out the pharmaceuticals either. 

Think about this the next time you give your kid a glass of lemonade.  I know I will.

(Getty Images)

How about a little water with your medicine?

• 	Posted by: Sarit Catz | 2 Comment(s)
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I’ve heard from so many dear, lovely, open people whose lives have been traumatized by addiction. I dedicated my book to them and also to those who work with addicts and their families–“to the women and men who devote their lives to understanding and combating addiction at rehab centers, inpatient and outpatient programs, hospitals, research centers, organizations dedicated to education about drug abuse, and so on.” This week I heard from a friend who’s a counselor at a grade school. She asked a provocative question that I want to pass along to others:

“I’ve worked over the past 10 years with families at a K to 8 grade school in California. Every year there is always one or two 7th or 8th graders that we, as teachers, know are heading for high risk behaviors including drug use. We try and talk with the parents about this but, in my experience, the parents are very defensive and are unwilling to listen or to work with us. It’s so frustrating because usually 2 or 3 years later we hear that these kids are in some sort of treatment. I’d be grateful for anyone’s advice about this. It’s one of my biggest frustrations of my job. I know there’s no magic bullet, but any insight as to how to approach parents in this situation would be great.”

Indeed, any insight would be great.

• 	Posted by: David Sheff | 31 Comment(s)
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So I’m traveling around with my son, Nic, talking about addiction. It’s a tour to promote our books, but it feels more like a continuation of a family weekend in rehab. Sometimes I look over at Nic and just melt. Everyday I’m reminded of how close I came to losing him—how close he came to losing his life. I’ve been on other book tours, but this is incomparable: being with Nic, meeting people whose lives have been, in many cases, devastated by addiction.

Indeed, many of the people who are coming to our readings bring with them their own stories. I’m humbled by them. Yesterday a man approached when I arrived at Starbucks at the library at George Washington University. He told me that his son didn’t make it; his child overdosed and died. I’ve heard about similar unthinkable catastrophes from other parents – and also from husbands and wives and children and partners and friends and others — people whose loved ones died. Each time I’m struck with a blow to my gut. Nic is only alive – I only have my son alive because of the luck of the draw.

As this kind, open, brave father reminded me, You can do everything right. You can do everything you can for the person you love. And sometimes they don’t make it. It’s the nature of disease. It’s like cancer, he said. Sometimes people pull through and sometimes they don’t. All we can do is try. If the disease claims them, all we can do is cry and talk and hold onto one another.

• 	Posted by: David Sheff | 9 Comment(s)
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When I was a child, my images of drug addicts and alcoholics came from TV and movies. My young children, Daisy and Jasper, have grown up with a different picture of addiction: their big brother’s.

I’ve written about Nic, my eldest son, in a book called Beautiful Boy. Nic was addicted to methamphetamine and used many other drugs: heroine, cocaine, ecstasy, and other pills. Nic also wrote about his addiction in Tweak, a brutal, unflinchingly honest, and ultimately inspiring chronicle of his descent and –did you hear me knock on wood? — recovery.

Nic has been sober for 2 years, 3 months,2 weeks, and 3 days, but who’s counting?

Both of us describe the impact of Nic’saddiction on his younger brother and sister. Jasper and Daisy adore Nic and he adores them back, but that didn’t spare them from the ghastly hell that comes from an addiction of a family member. After that it’s unsurprising that when my wife and I talk to the kids about drugs they look at us with incredulousness. “Are you kidding?” Jasper said. “After Nic do you actually think we’d do drugs?”

When Daisy learned that Nic got drunk for the first time when he was eleven, she was flabbergasted. “Eleven!” She’s eleven. “What was wrong with him?” she asked.

What’s the difference between her and Jasper and Nic? Yes, there have been significant differences in their childhoods. Nic’s mother and I divorced whereas Jasper and Daisy’s mom and I are happily married. The kids have different genes; Nic had a grandfather who died of alcoholism whereas as far as we know, Daisy and Jasper have no alcoholic or addicted relations. It doesn’t matter. My wife Karen and I know that Daisy and Jasper aren’t immune. No child is. It’s a terrifying fact.

(More…)

• 	Posted by: David Sheff | 27 Comment(s)
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